||[Apr. 15th, 2007|10:52 pm]
I want out.|
I can't get it out of my head. The way he looked, the way he sounded, what he said. I can't forget it. Its like one of those muggle movies, it keeps playing, rewinding, playing, rewinding. I think I might be going insane.
I can't believe I yelled at Dumbledore like that. I also can't believe he just stood there and let me. I suppose he knew that I needed to say what I said, or I wouldn't have yelled. But he said what everyone said. It was 'unlike Harry' and 'Harry wouldn't be capable of that'. How could he be incapable? It happened.
Mum was a mess when she found out. I think she wants to believe it wasn't Harry, just like the rest of them. I want to believe that too, but I can't. He didn't want me anymore, and this was his way of getting rid of me. He found out 'how I was', and that was enough for him. I gave him my heart, my soul, and he ripped it to shreads. Then ripped me to shreads, tried to kill me.
I would have died for him. I would have stood between him and the Killing Curse. I would have stopped the world for him. I was an idiot for him.